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Top five reasons why Samsung’s Galaxy S5 can’t please us all

It’s almost here. Yet there’s still so much about it we don’t know. Or rather, we’re unsure of. At least two primary Samsung Galaxy S5 versions (not counting sub-varieties like the Zoom or Mini) will presumably roll out at some point, but no one’s certain if both the “Standard” and “Prime” are due for announcements next week.

Galaxy S5 concept

Probably not though. Then there’s the crucial question of hardware, as the puzzle got more complicated yesterday instead of easier to solve. The possibility of a 64-bit “true” octa-core Exynos chip powering one of the multiple S5s is not only back on the table, but actually appears plausible for a change.

Snapdragon? Of course the S5 will offer that choice too. S800 or S805? I’m beyond trying to find such answers. Nor do I think I can crack the metalplastic case. The design altogether. You see, we’re worse than back to square one after months of rabid rumor-mongering. We’re back to square zero.

Galaxy S5

But hey, is patience so obsolete we can’t give it three more days? Let’s all take a chill pill, world, and for once, look forward to an intro without knowing too much beforehand. Besides, whatever Samsung has in the pipeline, we’ll still hear bitching and moaning. Here’s why:

Plastic vs metal – no way out

Unless Samsung discovers a new element between now and Monday, their options for S5’s build materials are limited. They can go with plastic or metal. Or both. But here’s the thing. Samsung can’t win this argument, just, best case scenario, limit the negative criticism.

htc-one

If they choose plastic, well, we all know how that goes down. Ewww, it looks cheap, it’s fragile, schlocky, blah, blah, blah. Aluminum? It’s probably a better choice in the long run, yet you’ll still hear voices accusing Samsung of ripping off HTC or Apple. Like anyone can patent a chemical element.

Samsung-Galaxy-S4

Both? Not a bad idea either, but it could fuel the rip-off squabble even more. I mean, a plastic Galaxy S5C and metal S5S to take on Apple’s iPhone 5C and 5S? That could be truly disastrous for Samsung. Bottom line, the only way out is kryptonite.

Spec wars – can’t live with them, can’t live without them

Look, I enjoy looking at hollow numbers all day and trying to compare them like they still mean something as much as the next (lifeless) guy, but you have to draw the line somewhere. 3 or 4 GB RAM? Are you friggin kidding me, I own a laptop with 4 GB RAM, and probably don’t use that at its full potential.

Exynos-Infinity

Quad-core this, octa-core that, 32-bit, 64-bit, they’re gimmicks. And to understand how silly things have gotten, Samsung is allegedly considering to come out with a 64-bit phone when Android only supports 32-bit. Of course, you can call that thinking ahead of the curve. I call it running out of ideas.

Then again, what’s the alternative? Voluntarily exit the spec wars when you’ve spent so much time building them up? You can’t do that, because not everyone reads The Droid Guy, so there are plenty of non-geeks out and about under the illusion number of cores matters.  

Saturation

The number three reason why Samsung’s Galaxy S5 can’t possibly please us all ties nicely with reason #2. Basically, it’s like this: smartphones have evolved at such a tremendous pace these past few years, the market has become oversaturated, and there’s no room for further development. Innovation. Real, palpable upgrades.

Cell phone

Until genuinely flexible devices become reality, or someone actually comes up with something new, we’ll pretty much be getting rehashed versions of the same gadgets year after year. With less lag, a little bigger, brighter, more colorful, but the same gadgets. And the Galaxy S5 can’t be any different, fingerprint recognition or no fingerprint recognition, invisible camera button or no invisible camera button.

Competition

As Apple mulls over an “iPhablet” (or two) for summer releases, LG and Sony continuously bolster their reputations as competitors to be taken seriously, and HTC, well, shouldn’t be ruled out yet, any misstep from Samsung is bound to get the Koreans in quicksand. Dangerous, dangerous quicksand.

iphone 6

And as we’ve seen already, it’s practically impossible for Sammy to not make a couple of mistakes, or what some will interpret as mistakes. There’s just no way out. Too bad LG isn’t ready to take the wraps off a G3, and Sony’s Xperia Z2 doesn’t look like much, or the Galaxy S5 would be in very deep trouble.

It’s just a phone

Think the Galaxy S5 will be revolutionary, alter your life, make everything better, brighter, rosier? Ready to cough up a month’s pay on the 5.2-incher as soon as it’s out despite doing the same last year, with the S4, and the year before, with the S3?

Reckon you’ll die a little inside if Samsung does the unthinkable and manufactures it out of plastic while putting a “passé” 32-bit quad-core Snapdragon 800 CPU and “modest” 3 GB RAM beneath its hood?

samsung-s-evolution

Newsflash, you need to get out more (unless you live in Ukraine, in which case stay indoors). Find a hobby, erm, a different hobby, smell the flowers, forget about Facebook and Flappy Bird for one lousy day. And ultimately, sure, buy the S5 if you can afford it and think it’s worth it. But remember, it’s just a slab of silicon, a tool, not the answer to life, the universe and everything.

Ah, forget it, you’re never going to listen to me anyway, which is why this is probably the main reason Samsung is screwed: pressure and unrealistic expectations. Thoughts?